I like to pride myself on honesty, I really do. Very rarely are people unsure of where they stand with me; I don’t think I’m rude, I’m honest. If I don’t like something, I’ll tell you. If I’m bored, I’ll yawn. If I’m nervous I’ll fart (okay, maybe the yawning is a bit rude). But I do honesty, and I do it well. So when a friend of mine told me I “have a face that people don’t like”, I was thrown at first, then quickly got over myself and took it as the loving comment in which I believe it was intended.
See, I’m an actor by trade so taking notes from people is part of the job. That and demanding no one looks me directly in the eyes. It’s not like we were in an argument – quite the opposite, we were out drinking. However, I think Captain Honesty thought my unlikeable face was offended as he quickly followed it with, “WE! I mean, WE have faces that people don’t like.” Bless.
Remember Doppelgänger Week on Facebook? I really liked it. Not only was it fun, but also educational. It gave an insight into how people think they are perceived. Fair to say, people think pretty highly of themselves. I have a friend who changed her profile picture to Gisele Bundchen, good on her. Another friend put up a picture of Sienna Miller, and not just any picture but an amazing digitally-enhanced image of her at the beach, sunkissed in all her glory. Again, well done you. This got me thinking: which celebrity do I look like? After a long, hard (three-minute, intoxicated) think, I realised who it was. Not only did we have a resemblance to one another, it was quite uncanny how similar we are.
It’s not Helena Christiansen, nor is it Natalie Imbruglia. No, it’s neither of these beauties, although you would be forgiven for assuming. It’s none other than the ever-versatile Rowan Atkinson. Yep, I’m the spitting image of Mr Bean. Now before you try to quash my admission, just give it a second… See, pretty spot on, right?! I think this is why I was quite thrown by my friend’s comment, because I believe that Mr Bean has one of the most loveable faces in the world (well, him and Bert Newton, of course)
I seem to be building a bit of a public profile on being real and honest which is awesome, but it leaves me little room to change my mind. I can’t exactly turn around and get a facelift on my ass now, can I? But there are no complaints here! I’m pretty stoked that people are okay with seeing my size 14 bod in a size 10 bikini! And even if they don’t like seeing it, I, like any warm-blooded insecure lady, only choose to read the nice comments. And it seems to be working.
Gone are the days where I’d contemplate cracking open the Coca-Cola bottle of $2 coins, finding the courage (wine) to enter a plastic surgeon’s office waving a manila folder of RHOBH faces, demanding to “be chiseled immediately!”. Nup, not me. I’m taking a leaf out of the “I’m against plastic surgery” book that Halle Berry and Heidi Klum wrote and got Salma Hayek to do the foreword. Yep, I’m one of them now; I totally don’t want to get rid of my double chin and try to separate my upper arm fat with my rib area.
I mean, what’s so important about facial symmetry and a defined ‘above the knee’ area, anyway? I’m starting to buy what I’m selling, and I’m happy being unlikeable, loveable Mrs Bean.